The King’s Green Pad

I cried today. I cried because I learned that an ocean biologist is in despair because the ecosystems of the oceans are dangerously stressed, possibly beyond recovery. My salt tears remind me that I am deeply connected to the ocean, both physically, but also emotionally and psychologically—I was born and raised on the shores of the Pacific. I love the ocean, and I grieve at its pain and my loss.

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross suggested that the stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. When we hear that human action is destroying our home, we often deny it: “it’s just a natural cycle”, “the earth is resilient”. We may become angry: “how dare you suggest this”, “how dare you refuse to do anything about this”, or “you’ll destroy the economy”. We often bargain: “if we plant a few extra trees, we can still dump our garbage in the ocean”, “we’ll do an environmental impact assessment and try to recycle some of our waste, but only if you let us pay lower government royalties”. Some of get really depressed: “there’s no point in trying. Nothing makes any difference anyway.”

What about acceptance? Kubler-Ross was talking about the grief we feel when we have lost something we deeply value—usually a loved one, or our health, or prospects of living to old age. My grief about the ocean is—I hope!—not the grief of those who have no hope. I’ll accept the truth of the story the scientists tell me about the current state of the ocean. But I won’t accept that there is nothing that can be done about it.

Yet I am just one person. I don’t have much power. I feel helpless. Depression is creeping back in. It’s starting to look a lot like despair. What can one person do?

Well one thing for sure: one person can’t change the world. I’m just one drop in the ocean…you’d never know I was there, for all the impact I have. Often I feel incredibly frustrated and despairing because nothing I do makes any visible difference. My passionate desire that our leaders and corporate CEOs and ordinary citizens all see the light and transform the ways in which we live on this planet doesn’t translate into their actually doing so!

How arrogant to think that I should or could single-handedly change the world! But that doesn’t mean I should do nothing either.

The ocean is full of drops. If I don’t contribute mine, and you don’t contribute yours, and she doesn’t contribute hers, eventually the ocean is empty. For me, the only way I can navigate both grief and hope is to recognize that (a) I can’t change the world single-handedly and (b) I CAN change what I, personally, do. Those things may be tiny. They might not actually change anything on a global scale. But if I do them, and you do them, and she does them, just maybe something bigger will change. And even if it doesn’t, there really isn’t anything else I can do.

So I will do what I can. I will listen, study, learn, pray, and try to act wisely. The rest I have to leave in God’s hands. Maybe my grief will add many drops to the ocean, and just maybe, those tears will be healing.

This post was authored by Dr. Heather Looy, Associate Professor of Psychology at The King’s University College in Edmonton, AB.