The King's Green Pad

by Heather Looy

I grew up adoring shows like Wild Kingdom and The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau, and the Planet Earth and Blue Planet series have pride of place in my DVD collection. So when a friend sent me a link to this delightful mockumentary, The Majestic Plastic Bag, I had to laugh at how it echoes this marvellous genre.

Then I had a dream that I was sitting on the beach when a plastic bag drifted by. And then another, rolling gently over and over like tumbleweed. A larger clump lolloped past like a stray beachball. And as I looked, there was a plastic bottle, and a lid, and a six-pack holder, and a shampoo bottle, and an empty sunscreen container, and suddenly an enormous wave of plastic gathered itself up and crested over my head, threatening to drown me. I felt like Alice in Wonderland, attacked by a deck of cards. Gasping, I woke up.

Whew. It was just a bad dream. Or was it? Check out the consequences of our plastic addiction here, and, if you like more of the science, here. I did, and made a resolution to kick the plastic habit.

I rolled up my sleeves, rubbed my hands, and got to work. Cloth bags for shopping—check. Mesh bags for produce—check. Make my own salad dressings—check. Use butter, which is wrapped in foil, instead of margarine, which comes in plastic tubs—check. Reuse plastic bags that held buns for storing the bread I bake—check. Buy relish, mustard, ketchup in bulk using refillable containers, preferably glass ones—to do. Do same with shampoo, conditioner, household cleaners, detergent. Dishwasher detergent already comes in a cardboard container—but whoops, the individual lozenges are wrapped in plastic. Consider switching dishwasher detergent to avoid this problem.

For a virtuous moment I thought I had the plastic problem licked. But then, just as in my dream, I began to see plastic EVERYWHERE. The chair I sit in as I type this blog uses plastic. My work light. My keyboard. Much of my CPU. The modem, the router, external hard drive, telephone, camera, clipboard, pens, mechanical pencils—and that’s just what I can see from where I sit!

I have a huge drawer full of Tupperware. All plastic. I hereby designate them family heirlooms. Watch out, all heirs of my ‘estate’:  I am going to bequeath you my ‘freezer mates,’ ‘modular mates,’ ‘rock n serve microwavables,’ spice carousel, serving bowls, measuring cups, cheese graters, unto the seventh generation. Because yes indeed, they will last that long!

What about all my ‘Dutch tupperware’—piles of old margarine tubs? Or with the plastic in my appliances, built into the house, shoes, or cosmetics, not to mention the bits you just can’t avoid? Try buying socks that don’t have a plastic hanger or are not wrapped in a plastic bag. Even at the farmer’s market the meat and the cheese come wrapped in plastic, and I can’t ask for that to change because of health regulations. Am I never to eat yogurt again? And that bulk stuff I’m putting in reusable containers just comes from larger plastic containers bought by the store. What happens to them?

Plastic, plastic everywhere. What’s a person who wants to live sustainably do? Live in a log house and wear skins and furs? Since I think I’ll pass on that one for a while, I need an alternative, and a good one.

Reduce—definitely the best option. I could buy a lot less—excuse my language—cheap plastic crap. No more dollar stores for me! (Sigh.)

Reuse—at least it extends the useful life of plastics. Recycle—Edmonton is a leader in recycling, but only some plastics get diverted from the landfill.

Create a market for recycled plastic. Next time I have to build a deck or fix the front steps I could buy materials made from recycled plastic. And lobby my community league to used recycled plastic when we upgrade the neighborhood playground.

Finally, while I am not naively optimistic that technology will solve all our environmental woes, I could support creative ways of dealing with the tonnes of plastic waste already cresting over our heads. See for example this young person’s interesting idea.

So can I kick the plastic habit? I can’t go cold turkey unless I head to the wilderness—though that would have the virtue of considerably shortening the number of years I’d be around to abuse plastic! Looks like I will have to wean myself off gradually, paying attention, thinking creatively, sharing ideas with others, and working to change a culture that is just as addicted as I am.

(image from The Victorian Web, http://www.victorianweb.org/art/illustration/tenniel/alice/12.3.html)